I love you . remember . They cannot take it.This review is a combined version of a review of my feelings for Delirium and how it ultimately affected Pandemonium and also me feelings.
I remember joining Goodreads and stumbling upon my recommendations for books . Delirium had been one of them . I had neglected it for a long long time and after some point where I basically had nothing to do , I went and read the synopsis of all my recommendations .
I’m a romantic . I devour books with swooning , confessions of love and lots of emotions . I have these weird fantasies about fictional guys and my wishful thinking always takes a magical route to fantasy . I always melt when the characters of a book ( If I’m loving it ) say the three magical words to each other . Love is something that can’t be defined . you just feel it . Love isn’t something which is only felt for a guy or your family . it’s felt in so many ways a person can’t even imagine . Love is when you see your favorite chocolate and feel like grabbing it . Love is when your dog poops and you clean it even when you’re disgusted but you still do . Love is when you start hating winter because you can’t go out and when start hating summer because it’s just too damn hot . I can’t imagine a world without love because it’s not just an emotion ..it’s just there .
So when I read the prose of Delirium , I knew I had to grab it .
And I savored every bit of it . Here we meet Lena haloway , a five feet two inch seventeen year old who lives in a world where love is a disease and is termed as ‘Amor Deliria Nervosa’ . Bunk intimacy , any trace of deep emotion and you’re locked up for a crime . it’s pretty robotic of a life isn’t it ?
So the story follows and we see how Lena is set to get cured through a operational procedure ..but just 3 months before she’s a part of the robotic world , she falls in love .
Here we meet Alex . we see how Lena starts opening up , sees the change in herself . how she knows that Love is completely different from what she’s been hearing about . and after she learns how pathetic life truly is without it , she knows what she’s got to do and that is to escape .
I remember crying my eyes out in the end . every emotion that tore me up to see how Alex sacrificed his life for Lena . how he came like the knight in the shining armor , zoomed and rescued Lena on his bike and drove like crazy to the border . How when he knew the gravity of the situation , switched places with her and shielded her while he ordered her to do one thing and that is to run .
i can never forget those last 2 pages where Lauren Oliver literally shook my world . who does that ?! that’s so bizarre and cruel !
and now after reading Pandemonium
I can truly say that she’s evil
How would life be without the one you love the most ? without your daily routine ? without everyone you know ? without all those things which made you ? without everything and in an unknown place with no flicker of hope ?
That’s Lena right there .
She’s there . In the Wilds . A place which sings freedom and life in every tone . The place where she thought she could start all over with Alex . but Alex isn’t there and she’s all alone .
She dreams about Alex and wishes that he could be there with her . but he isn’t coming back .
So she’s pushing ahead . Running like Alex told her to . She’s burying the old Lena , burying the memories of Alex and is on her way to be reborn and join the resistance and fight for what she believes because she’s done standing back and losing those she loves the most .
I’d end up weeping right at the start because Alex , oh boy ! i really did miss him .
The whole of the book is set up in alternative phases of how Lena survived then
, to find resistance and be the New Lena whose a total Badass and How she’s working Now
under the resistance .
I loved the way Ms. Oliver has written the story . we see How Lena’s character has continued to grow . we see how she’s come to be who she is and now what she’s going to do . Memories of Alex are definitely the most painful ones and she’s determined to overcome those and move ahead . and what she’s grown to be .
But the journey hasn’t ended yet . She has a long way to go and this is where unknowingly she stumbles upon love yet again . While the last time she couldn’t do anything and was helpless , this time She’s fighting back . The end was earth shattering and Ms. Oliver as much as love you , I hate you too.
I remember how I loved Alex and losing him was definitely heart breaking but when the prose of Pandemonium came out and I read the part which clearly says that she might be falling in love again . All Hell Broke Loose .
I was like seriously ?!
Lena ! you can’t do that ! no way ! nooo nooo way !
That’s the power of your great love ? you will not look at another man girl ! you . will . not !
But then we meet Julian .
I expected to really hate him and at the beginning , I think I really did . I really hated how the things were taking shape , I couldn’t bear it . what about Alex ? my dearest Alex ! he gave up life for you little female-dog ! how could you !
But all this was at the start .
It was as if I’m going all around with Lena . I could see how her feelings are conflicted . how she dreams about Alex but feels this strange attraction towards Julian . I hated her when she compared Julian with Alex but just in the next line she says how truly pathetic she is .The whole time it felt like sitting in the backseat of a car and watching the story shape up . I felt for Lena deeply . I accepted Julian .
When a person passes away , to console a person , we say that he/she left but life still goes on .
So why not accept Julian .because life does goes on .”Lena?”
”Yes Julian ?”
“What does it feel like ?”
“What are you talking about ?”
“The Deliria ?”
“I-I can’t describe it ..”
“I want to know .” his whispered “I want to know with you.”but my life was shattered in the end and I can only imagine how it would be for Lena .
It felt warm to see Lena’s and Julian’s relationship grow . it was new , soft and sad . by the end when Lena and Julian accept their love for each other , the twist which came was totally expected . deep in my heart I’d seen it coming as well . I knew this would happen and I’d wished about it every single day . i wished Alex would come back and he did .
But never did I think that it would affect me that way . I’m mortified beyond belief .
I am not happy that Alex is back and excited and happy too .
Do you know how you feel when the thing which you expected happens but it feels like a kick to your gut ? YOU SCREAM TRAGEDY .
Ugh , another love triangle . God , just kill me please .
I think I should mention the other characters as well .
There’s Raven who I personally adored because trust me I’m a big fan of Badass girls . there’s tack , hunter and many other from the resistance .
Dude I just feel like screaming and yelling and howling because the way this book puts it , you expect things to happen and when they do you almost wish you hadn’t .
Pandemonium was considerably slow in it’s pace .
I totally recommend you to read it .
The thing is I’m not too sure whether you’ll like it or not . no the story’s fine . but the things which happen are pathetically slow and sometimes I felt like skipping some pages .
I gave it 5 stars rating , because I loved Delirium and I had ached and waited for this one feverishly for a whole year . I ‘m not saying that I didn’t like this one because I did . Infact I Loved This ONE ! it was phenomenal ! this was Lena’s strory . one which I truly cherished . you see when I’d started I had this nostalgic feeling everywhere . infact the first page starts with the memory of Alex and can you believe it ?!? I cried the very first page .
This is one of the series very close to my heart and that’s why I feel it deserves a 5 star rating from me .
But I urge you to read this one because if you loved Delirium , you’ll love this one too .